Church, a remedy for loneliness?

“Loneliness breeds in large groups of people” reads a postcard that I received from a teammate in London. I use my postcards as bookmarks, and selected that one for my current (airplane) read, Douglas Coupland’s, Eleanor Rigby. Yep, like the Beatles’ song, “Ah, look at all the lonely people….” 

I’ve read a number of Coupland’s books (he’s the one who coined the term “Generation X”) and this one, as usual, is insightful. It’s the story of “Liz Dunn who was too lonely to live, and too frightened to die.” The blurb on the back jacket says: “funny heartbreaking… a haunting exploration of the ways in which loneliness affects us all.”

Loneliness? I don’t believe that I have ever heard a sermon on loneliness, tangential references, yes, but not a treatment of the subject. And certainly that is not the best way to deal with the autonomous individual’s sense of isolation. The best remedy for loneliness is, not explaining how not to be lonely, not being in the same room with a large group of people, but in entering into relationship with people. 

The French evangelical alliance’s fifth principle for churches attempting to be fully biblical and full witnesses in this perpetually fluctuating world, is “encounter and calling.” They write:

“We believe that we pursue our calling as the people of God through the regular activities in the life of a local church, activities that promote true encounters. Without rejecting the importance of events and the use of electronic communication, we believe that the church must remain a place of true encounter, a source of happiness and growth. This is because loneliness and the difficulty of personal encounter are today, all too present” (David Brown, Servir à nos Français, 253.

In my travels I end up attending a lot of different churches. After having said “hello” & chit chatted with people (if I happen to speak a local language enough to do that) comes the uncomfortable moment when I wait around for my host, who is invariably engaged in conversation. 

I preached at this church in Stuttgart in March. My caveman German did not allow for much chit chat :-)

Now you may think that I’m about to criticize and say that the church members should be more welcoming toward me. Nope. I’m glad that this is more than an habitual meeting for the people who are there. They are generally welcoming enough for me realize that, were I present a bit more, I too could enjoy similar Christian friendship.

I facilitated Bible dialogue with the youth group of the Trinity International Church in Strasbourg for their ski weekend in February.

David Brown and company observe:

“If we want our preaching of the gospel to be authentic in the eyes of the world around us, and that it involves a true acceptance of others, we are called to first live these values in our local churches as a new humanity. Isolation and loneliness are realities of our age; we seek to live otherwise in the midst of our communities” (Brown, 254).

The warning the French Evangelical Alliance group issues is to be careful not to perpetuate activities simply because of tradition and obligation, activities that do not help us pursue our calling as the people of God. This calling that is concomitantly to-ward and outward — toward Jesus and one another, and outward to others who do not yet know Jesus.

David Brown reports:

Life lived in the local church community “seeks each person’s betterment in a spirit of mutual encouragement. It transforms us individually and collectively.… This transformational community moves outward, carrying the good news of reconciliation with God and of the restoration of all things in Jesus Christ. This double call to live the reality of the gospel in our communities and to make it known all around us” unites to create a dynamic interplay (Brown, 254).

Sounds good; the hard part is living it.

“If we announce to the entire world the coming of the reign of God, we are called to live this reign in our communities. If we emphasize spiritual journeying that promotes a true transformational encounter with God, we also emphasize the impact that the gospel has within our communities.” 

While worship experiences can be transcendent, sermons motivating & enriching, two questions we should ask about our church activities are:  “Does this activity promote true encounter with God and with others?” And “does it reduce the loneliness that people feel?” 

Because there are a lot of Eleanor Rigbys out there, both outside and inside the church.